“Naito Yoshihito: Just Changed the Way of Speaking”

Among Korean proverbs, there are many related to “speech.” You can find various sayings like “A word spoken is past recalling,” “Different mouths, different tastes,” and “Fine words butter no parsnips.”

This emphasizes the importance of using words well. When used effectively, the power of speech can turn a loss into a gain, but when misused, it can have the opposite effect.

While speech is a means of conveying content, how it is delivered is also crucial. Major conflicts can arise from a single careless word.

“How can I lead the conversation in the direction I want?”

Naito Yoshihiro’s book, “Just Changed the Way of Speaking,” explores how to lead a conversation in the desired direction. It addresses the question, “How can I convey the same message in a way that leads it in the direction I want?” This book blends psychological insights with practical advice based on everyday situations.

“Principles of Speaking Well for Everyday Life”

The main focus of the book is on principles of speaking well that can be learned and applied in everyday life. From methods to gain agreement from others to speaking techniques that increase the likelihood of positive outcomes, it introduces psychological insights into effective communication.

The author assigns names to these principles, and each chapter title reflects these speaking principles. This makes it easy for readers to predict the content simply by checking the table of contents. Readers who have finished the book may also use the table of contents to review the content.

The book’s table of contents is summarized as follows:

Prologue: Just Changed the Way of Speaking, Life Changes!
The Psychology of Speaking, Chapter 1: How to Lead Others to Say “Yes”
1. When expressing ‘my’ opinion, involve ‘everyone’ ★ Law of Sociability
2. Even if you need ‘10,000 won,’ ask for ‘1,000 won’ first ★ Even-a-Penny Technique
3. Make difficult requests over a meal together ★ Dinner Rule
4. Clear reasons and objectives provide motivation ★ DTAG Law
5. Make the other person answer with their own mouth ★ Rhetoric
6. Accumulation breaks through even rocks ★ Law of Accumulation
7. Indirectly elevate the value of information ★ Value Attribution Effect
8. Your behavior determines the other person’s personality ★ Label Effect
The Psychology of Speaking, Chapter 2: How to Receive the Love of Those You Want to Be Loved By
1. Great lines don’t guarantee great results ★ Normalcy Principle
2. Instead of trying to change others, find what you can do ★ Rule of Favorable Wind and Sunshine
3. Who would spit on a smiling face? ★ Smile Effect
4. Inject ‘numbers’ subtly ★ Number Effect
5. Stoke fear if you want to know your lover’s heart ★ Fear Tactic
6. Hide ‘me’ and reveal ‘you’ ★ Rule of ‘You’
7. ‘How to say’ is more important than ‘what to say’ ★ Halo Effect
8. Creating a positive frame increases likability ★ Framing Law
The Psychology of Speaking, Chapter 3: How to Prevent Others from Saying “No”
1. Borrow a third party’s voice rather than making a direct appeal ★ Listening Effect
2. Infect with happiness through a smiling face ★ Contagion Effect of Smiling Faces
3. Even the strictest person has no defense against praise ★ Praise Trap Effect
4. Sharing interests makes hearts more generous ★ Law of Sharing
5. Two times is OK, three or more times is NO ★ Sandwich Technique
6. Compelling ‘background episodes’ break down defenses ★ Episode Persuasion
7. Understand the ‘frog psychology’ in people’s minds ★ Irony Effect
8. The last resort is the ‘tear tactic’ ★ Underdog Effect
The Psychology of Speaking, Chapter 4: How to Make Others Act as You Desire
1. Make them believe they’ve made the decision themselves ★ Mystification
2. People strive to meet expectations ★ Pygmalion Effect
3. Don’t force conclusions and prematurely close doors ★ Deferred Conclusion
4. Divide one request into two stages ★ Digging Technique
5. Even without pay, work diligently if asked to ★ Reinforcement Theory
6. Stoke anxiety about being left alone to expedite decisions ★ Bandwagon Effect
7. Moderate numbers inspire enthusiasm ★ Hawthorne Effect
8. Trash attracts more trash ★ Zero Tolerance Principle
The Psychology of Speaking, Chapter 5: How to Solve Problems Smoothly
1. Everyone wants to hear from polite speakers ★ Law of Speech
2. Even greeting first is a skill ★ Prevention Effect of Greetings
3. Hinting at limits excites the other person’s mind ★ Tip of the Line Technique
4. Ensure the other person has the authority to choose ★ Option Technique
5. Encourage selfishness by changing perspectives ★ Persuasion by Changing Perspectives
6. Negotiation’s foundation is ‘eye for an eye’ ★ Retaliation Strategy
7. Clenching fists alone increases strength ★ Power Pose Effect
8. Warm drinks have a magical effect on opening hearts ★ Hot Drink Effect
Epilogue: The one who knows how to wait patiently is the ultimate winner
Translator’s Note: The psychology of speaking hidden in everyday psychological laws
References