Yoshihito Naitō on the Difference a Turn of Phrase Can Make

Contents

1. Prologue. A change in how you speak can change your life
2. Chapter 1. How do you get a yes?
   1. Put a shared view behind your own opinion — the social influence principle
   2. Start with a small request — the even-a-penny technique
   3. Make an awkward request over a meal — the luncheon technique
   4. Give people a clear reason and purpose — the DTAG principle
   5. Let the other person say the answer — the rhetorical technique
   6. Small steps add up — the accumulation principle
   7. Hint at why the information matters — the perceived value of information
   8. The description you give a person can shape how they act — the labelling effect
3. Chapter 2. How do you build affection?
   1. A polished line guarantees little — the normal principle
   2. Look for something you can change yourself — the North Wind and the Sun
   3. What a smile does to a conversation — the smile effect
   4. Work a number into what you say — the number effect
   5. Fear as a test of affection — the fear tactic
   6. Give “you” more room than “I” — the you principle
   7. Delivery changes what people hear — the halo effect
   8. A positive frame can increase liking — framing
4. Chapter 3. How do you avoid an immediate no?
   1. Let someone else make the point — the overhearing effect
   2. A smile can spread a good mood — emotional contagion
   3. Even a stern listener can be susceptible to praise — the flattery trap
   4. Common interests soften people’s attitudes — the sharing principle
   5. Two tries may work where a third pushes too far — the sandwich technique
   6. A convincing backstory can lower a person’s guard — persuasion through anecdotes
   7. Allow for the urge to do the opposite — the irony effect
   8. Tears as a last resort — the underdog effect
5. Chapter 4. How do words lead to action?
   1. Leave people room to feel that they decided — mystification
   2. Expectations can shape performance — the Pygmalion effect
   3. Leave the conclusion open — delaying closure
   4. Break a request into two steps — the gradual approach
   5. What happens if you ask for hard work without pay? — reinforcement theory
   6. The fear of being left behind — the bandwagon effect
   7. A precise number can encourage effort — the odd-amount effect
   8. Small signs of neglect can attract more — zero tolerance
6. Chapter 5. How can you make everyday encounters go more smoothly?
   1. People are more willing to listen to someone who speaks politely — the manner of speaking
   2. Greet the other person first — the protective effect of a greeting
   3. Let the upper limit show — the top-of-the-line technique
   4. Give the other person a genuine choice — the options technique
   5. Ask someone to see the situation from the other side — perspective-taking
   6. Respond in kind in a negotiation — the retaliation strategy
   7. Clench a fist and feel ready to act — the power pose
   8. A warm drink can help people feel at ease — the hot-drink effect
7. Epilogue. Give the other person time
8. Translator’s note. The psychology behind everyday ways of speaking
9. References