Lalawin’s Practical Guide to the Mess of Dating

Lalawin was already an established Tistory blogger when I started writing there. She covered the psychology of dating and small problems in everyday life. When she published a post, it often appeared on Daum’s home page, and on Naver’s too, back when Naver featured articles from Tistory.

I used to read those featured bloggers and wonder what it might be like to become one. Lalawin was one of the writers who made that seem worth trying.

Meeting the Blogger Behind the Book

After transferring to Sungkyunkwan University, I learned that Lalawin had studied there too. She had finished her undergraduate degree and was attending graduate school. Being on the same campus gave us a chance to meet.

I remember being nervous. I had never met a blogger with such a following, and Tistory had yet to recognize my own blog. Lalawin turned out to be an entertaining storyteller and good company. I still have fond memories of meeting her on campus and in the neighborhood.

Finding Her Book in the University Library

Meeting her made me curious about what she had published. I found her book in the university library. It draws on the psychology and lived experience of dating.

I recognized some of the pieces from her blog. There was plenty I had missed, and the book gave me a chance to read through her work at my own pace.

The subtitle calls it a practical dating guide, which made me wonder whether it would read like a textbook. The writing is much like her blog, moving between experiences people recognize and ideas from psychology.

That combination makes it an easy read. A familiar problem in a relationship becomes a way to think about why people react as they do.

Where Dating Meets Psychology

Toward the end, the book introduces a few simple experiments and a questionnaire for thinking through the difference between liking someone and being in love.

The experiment that stayed with me looked at how distress after a breakup can be felt as physical pain. The idea that a broken heart can hurt in the body, too, felt especially familiar.

Lalawin makes it easy to see where the psychology comes into everyday relationships. The book is light enough to read for pleasure, with ideas worth carrying away.

Book Information

The Mess of Dating: A Practical Guide for the 99% Who Run Into Relationship Trouble

Author

Lalawin

Publication date

27 February 2012

ISBN13

9788925545684

View book on YES24

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